Forgive me, Bryant Simon.

I pretty much only drink Starbucks coffee in airports, on road trips, or in other situations where the only other option is gas station coffee or no coffee at all.  Accordingly, after checking my bags and going through security at LAX yesterday, I first found my gate and then found the nearest ‘Bucks (literally only feet away) to get friggin’ amped for a few hours of high-quality sitting.  Looking at the menu for prices, I noticed that this particular location carried the fabled trenta size.  Naturally, I ordered it:

Side-eye.

Holding it next to my melon-head doesn’t give the best sense of scale, but in fact I was a little disappointed at how small it looked.  Thirty ounces is a lot of coffee, no doubt, especially when it’s the double-caffeinated brew that Starbucks serves.  But I expected it to be comically oversized, a parody of itself, the Double Down of iced coffees.  Instead, it just looks like a slightly scaled-up venti.  So I looked up the capacity of my Stanley thermos and discovered that it holds thirty-five ounces.  No wonder I was underwhelmed by the trenta–I drink more coffee than that on a daily basis.  Good job, self–way to stay ahead of the curve.

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One thought on “Forgive me, Bryant Simon.

  1. I read this while renting space at a Barnes and Noble cafe and sipping on a (too strong) starbucks cafe au lait. I laughed out loud (particularly at the title of the post).

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